Dealing with the impossible - seeing the end of lockdown

It goes without saying - that I along with everyone else in Melbourne are seeing the lifting of lockdown restrictions today (or even saw it in last night!) and to say the least for me - there still remains a lot to digest about it all.

And I'm not ready - not at all.

While it may feel good to finally get out and 'get on the beers' as Dan Andrews so famously coined it - there is the other side to Melbourne that is cautious about all this and very aware that there are things that remain unfinished. And the end of this lockdown is not the end I (actually) wanted.

While part of me does want to savour the somewhat (empty?) victory of getting to the end of this FINAL sixth lockdown and everyone wants to see friends and family - the empty success of vaccinations over spread has still left a huge divide between those for and against and been pushing the health system to where we are all vulnerable...Reaching 70 percent seems very empty indeed, when cases and deaths are rising.

Regarding the lockdown unfortunately, inside me there remains an unconvinced person that is completely pissed off that all that sacrifice, this last time did not save us, and the virus or people kept letting us down, to where we are still at 2,200 cases the day before we end the lockdown! We are meant to get better numbers with the lockdown - not worse.

More importantly, my sense of justice about this is shattered and the sense of mourning (of a world I had hoped to regain) seems to have gone with it too.

Frustratingly the pandemic did show that it is both faster and more persistent than us, and I see that replayed in NZ, all too clearly.

While I realise this could just be a huge whinge - this is all just part of me trying to make sense of it all. All that is gone and somehow I am trying to arrive at a place where I am at LEAST accepting (while not embracing) of this 'new normal'.

At least I recognise that this new normal requires a lot of adjusting.

And while there are many new conditions while out in society, I still don't feel comfortable about any of it. COVID has come along and changed everything, and this seismic change may be normalised but I feel strange out in the community. My peace of mind is quite shattered and I still have family and friends who would be very compromised, should they get sick.

For someone who normally wouldn't really want to stay at home longer than needed, this pandemic has taught me that there is a lot of wisdom in prudence, and the best thing for me is to stay well both health wise and mentally too. We all need to do what we can to stay afloat and stay healthy because this pandemic is still very much calling the shots, regardless of the lockdown ending.

Ultimately I understand that lockdowns are impossible things - and hopefully we've done enough to keep the hospitals from getting overwhelmed. I just wish we could have seen our numbers go down like Sydney's during the end of our lockdowns - rather than having the sensation that there is unfinished business afoot, and we are just part of a fool's paradise that still needs to learn from it's mistakes.

Wishing you well for the end of lockdown!

If you or someone you know is struggling with the end of lockdown, call Beyond Blue on 1300 224 63.